May 24, 2016

However, this weekend is the 2016 Monaco Grand Prix, and rain is predicted for the race, so that puts a different spin on things! Here's the map for this legendary track:

Looks a little twisty, but nothing too bad, right? Well, um... this is MONACO. We're not talking about Barcalounger with its roomy runoff space, or Singapore with its wide, modern, streets. No, we're talking about running high-tech racing machines at 180mph through what is, at its heart, a small French fishing village... to the point where the harbor is a major feature of the circuit.

In terms of actual racing, Monaco is usually pretty poor. The narrow, twisty, decidedly unstraight lap doesn't much lend itself to such things as passing. Further, the knowledge that a single tiny mistake of any sort will tend to send a car rapidly ping-ponging from barrier to barrier tends to make even the stoutest of drivers break into fits of eye twitching and nervous laughter.

So the presence of a good chance of rain on raceday makes Wonderduck a giddy, giddy, waterfowl. The fine folks of the Legendary Announce Team will be doing their usual level best for us, maybe even FROM Monaco itself (they've done that the past couple of years). Here's the coverage:
Thursday
Practice 2: 7a - 9a live on NBCSN
Saturday
Quals: 7a - 9a live on NBCSN
Sunday
2016 Grand Prix of Monaco: 6a - 9a live on NBC
Nope, no typo there: Practice is on Thursday, not Friday, and the race itself is on NBC-the-mother-network, not any of the junior channels. This way any of my readers with a TV can watch it! Then you can make fun of the F1Update! later when it comes out. As is usual, all times are approximately Pond Central time... check your local listings. Post no bills. Past performance is not indicative of future results. Do not taunt happyfunball.
And see ya there!
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May 14, 2016
Pos. | Driver | Team | Q1 | Q2 | Q3 |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Lewis Hamilton | Mercedes | 1:23.214 | 1:22.159 | 1:22.000 |
2 | Nico Rosberg | Mercedes | 1:23.002 | 1:22.759 | 1:22.280 |
3 | Smiley Ricciardo | Red Bull Racing | 1:23.749 | 1:23.585 | 1:22.680 |
4 | Embryo Verstappen | Red Bull Racing | 1:23.578 | 1:23.178 | 1:23.087 |
5 | Kimi Räikkönen | Ferrari | 1:23.796 | 1:23.504 | 1:23.113 |
6 | Sebastian Vettel | Ferrari | 1:24.124 | 1:23.688 | 1:23.334 |
7 | Valtteri Bottas | Williams | 1:24.251 | 1:24.023 | 1:23.522 |
8 | Carlos Sainz | Toro Rosso | 1:24.496 | 1:24.077 | 1:23.643 |
9 | Sergio Perez | Force India | 1:24.698 | 1:24.003 | 1:23.782 |
10 | Fernando Alonso | McLaren | 1:24.578 | 1:24.192 | 1:23.981 |
11 | Nico Hulkenberg | Force India | 1:24.463 | 1:24.203 | |
12 | Jenson Button | McLaren | 1:24.583 | 1:24.348 | |
13 | Kid Kvyat | Toro Rosso | 1:24.696 | 1:24.445 | |
14 | Lettuce Grosjean | Haas | 1:24.716 | 1:24.480 | |
15 | Kevin Magnussen | Renault | 1:24.669 | 1:24.625 | |
16 | Esteban! | Haas | 1:24.406 | 1:24.778 | |
17 | Jolyon Palmer | Renault | 1:24.903 | ||
18 | Felipe Not Nasr Massa | Williams | 1:24.941 | ||
19 | Sony Ericsson | Sauber | 1:25.202 | ||
20 | Felipe Not Massa Nasr | Sauber | 1:25.579 | ||
21 | Pascal's Wager | Manor | 1:25.745 | ||
22 | Rio Rainbow Gate | Manor | 1:25.939 |
If Lewis Hamilton is going to make a run at points leader Nico Rosberg, this is where he needs to start, and Barcalounger's propensity of giving the win to the polesitter seems to bode well for the Brit. The surprise isn't that he's on pole, though... it's that Ferrari isn't on the second row. Instead, it's the new Red Bull combination of Smiley Ricciardo and Embryo Verstappen that poses the nearest "threat" to the Silver Arrows.
And yes, I said Verstappen is driving for Red Bull. Earlier this week it was announced that Kid Kvyat was being moved to Toro Rosso, with The Embryo moving to the Grownup's Team. Allegedly this was going to happen in 2017 anyway, but it seems much more likely to be due to Kvyat's ham-fisted mauling of Seb Vettel last race.
In any case, I have my doubts as to whether Red Bull can mount a legit challenge to the Mercs, but I guess we'll see. I suspect a Mercedes 1-2 is in the offing... oh wait. That's almost every race, isn't it?
Haas seems poised for points again, with Lettuce is 14th. Maybe the biggest shocker is Fernando Alonso dragging his McLaren kicking and screaming into Q3 for the first time since the team took on Honda engines.
Race is in the morning... see ya then!
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May 11, 2016

It used to be that the teams did so much testing here that they knew where every paint chip was missing on the curbs, where to find every hairline crack in the pavement, where every rise, ease, bump and dip was located. Since they no longer run tens of thousands of kilometers here every offseason, that's only partially true now, but there's still very few tracks the teams know as well as Barcalounger. It's as if it's part of the F1 DNA... unravel the double-helix, and you'll find one strand lays itself out as Silverstone, the other strand like Barca.
Because of that, it's rare that a race in Spain is any good: 13 of the past 15 have been won from pole, for instance. There's just no surprises waiting to catch out an unsuspecting driver, because there's no such thing as an unsuspecting driver at Barca. It's not even a bad layout, all things being equal, it's just hard to pass here. Of course, DRS has made that less true than it has been, but 2015's race was notable for being remarkably dull, even by the standards of dull F1 races. The only real excitement was the running over of two different front jackmen during pit stops (to be fair, brake failure caused one of the incidents... the other was caused by driver failure... to stop! Ha! I slay me!).
So why should we watch this race? Well, reason one is that we're F1 fans and that's what we do. Reason two is that Nico Rosberg is gunning for his eighth consecutive win and fifth in a row in-season... which, ohbytheway would move him equal to names like Brabham, Clark, Mansell and... oh, will you look at that, Hamilton! A third reason would be to see how Haas adapts to the equipment upgrades.
Of course the Legendary Announce Team will be doing their usual excellent work this weekend; here's the broadcast schedule for your edification:
Friday
Practice 2: 7a - 830a live on NBCSN
Saturday
Quals: 7a - 830a live on NBCSN
Sunday
2016 Grand Prix of Spain: 6a - 9a live on NBCSN
As always, all times Central Pond Time. Doublecheck your schedules, just to be sure. Subtract two hours for west coast, add one hour for east coast, and if you're onboard the ISS,well, you're on your own. As is usual, the F1 Update! gang will be along sometime afterwards with their writeup of questionable quality. See ya then.
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April 30, 2016
It's not enough that Rosberg is leading the Driver's Championship by a serious amount, no no... now his two most obvious challengers are suffering from technical failures, too! Seb Vettel, who is nominally second on the grid, will be starting seventh after a gearbox change. And Lewis Hamilton, Rosberg's teammate, set a comfortable time in Q2, then suffered a drastic loss of power from his engine. At last report, the team was elbow deep in the back of the car despite it being in parc ferme. This means that there's a good chance Hamilton will be starting from the back of the grid or the pit lane for the second race in a row... and we know how well that turned out last time. Oh, as if that wasn't enough he might also get a penalty for not rejoining the track in the correct manner after running wide at one point.
It's difficult to see a scenario where Hamilton can recover from this awful start to the season to come back and win the driver's championship, but stranger things have happened. However, Rosberg's lead is not a fluke; he's driving very well, and very very fast. For example, look at the two Merc speeds in Q2: Rosberg 1:35.337, Hamilton 1:35.820. A half-second faster? That's no accident.
The rest of the grid is pretty standard. It's possible that Haas has now found their true pace after the ridiculously wonderful first two races. It's been expected that as the season rolled on, Haas would be unable to keep up with the march of upgrades, but boy, that happened fast! Assuming, of course, that's what's going on here.
The McLarens, so miserable last year, are now looking like they've officially taken the next step to getting back to the top. It can't happen soon enough if you ask me. Force India is still twitching, which is something of a surprise considering the huge financial and legal problems Vijay Mallya has... he's $1.4billion in debt, a court in Mumbai issued a warrant for his arrest, the Indian government revoked his passport and has asked Britain to deport him.
The race is Sunday morning, F1U! will be along afterwards, and we'll see you then or thereabouts!
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April 26, 2016

Nope, no change from 2014 or 2015. That's unfortunate, because this race has not given us great events in the past. The first race was run under the shadow of Jules Bianchi's accident, when nobody in particular really wanted to be there. 2015 saw wrecks a-plenty, a dull race, and a track worker nearly run over by Seb Vettel. Now, one could say that the circuit has yet to get "a fair shake," as it were. It's still awfully new, the events of the past two years have overshadowed the track, so on and so forth. One less charitable could say that, because the circuit sucks Siberian Snow Cones, the events of the past occurred. Go ahead, guess which view I tend towards, I dare you.
Look... it's really quite simple: there are 10 90-degree turns. If you add in Turns 7 and 8, it becomes an even dozen. Think those do anything to the flow of the track? Or do you believe that stopping and starting and stopping and starting make for exciting racing? Of course it's a Hermann Tilke layout. I mean, sure, I suppose he did the best he could given the limitations of having to race through the Olympic Park, but... well. They don't listen to my advice over at the FIA... they don't even reply, except for that one time with the restraining order... so no use in complaining.
The good kulaks of the Legendary Announce Team will be doing their usual coverage at the usual times... but let's check 'em out to make sure we're all on the same page, shall we?
Friday
Practice 2: 6a - 730a live on NBCSN
Saturday
Quals: 7a - 830a live on CNBC
Sunday
2016 Grand Prix of Russia: 6a - 930a live on CNBC
Note the long running time for the race on Sunday... I'm assuming that includes both pre-race buildup and "F1 Extra", the post-race coverage. All times Pond Central, add an hour for those of you in Virginia, take two hours away for y'all in San Francisco, and but one if you're a relative of mine in Albuquerque, NM.
Actually, anybody in Albuquerque should take one hour off Pond Central time. Just... y'know what? Never mind. Whatever. Do what you wanna do. It's yer thang.
We'll be along sometime after the race with the usual F1Update!, except maybe this time with energy and passion. Or not. We'll see.
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April 16, 2016
Pos. | Driver | Team | Q1 | Q2 | Q3 |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Nico Rosberg | Mercedes | 1:37.669 | 1:36.240 | 1:35.402 |
2 | Smiley Ricciardo | Red Bull Racing | 1:37.672 | 1:36.815 | 1:35.917 |
3 | Kimi Räikkönen | Ferrari | 1:37.347 | 1:36.118 | 1:35.972 |
4 | Sebastian Vettel | Ferrari | 1:37.001 | 1:36.183 | 1:36.246 |
5 | Valtteri Bottas | Williams | 1:37.537 | 1:36.831 | 1:36.296 |
6 | Kid Kvyat | Red Bull Racing | 1:37.719 | 1:36.948 | 1:36.399 |
7 | Sergio Perez | Force India | 1:38.096 | 1:37.149 | 1:36.865 |
8 | Carlos Sainz | Toro Rosso | 1:37.656 | 1:37.204 | 1:36.881 |
9 | Embryo Verstappen | Toro Rosso | 1:38.181 | 1:37.265 | 1:37.194 |
10 | Nico Hulkenberg | Force India | 1:38.165 | 1:37.333 | No Time |
11 | Felipe Not Nasr Massa | Williams | 1:38.016 | 1:37.347 | |
12 | Fernando Alonso | McLaren | 1:38.451 | 1:38.826 | |
13 | Jenson Button | McLaren | 1:37.593 | 1:39.093 | |
14 | Lettuce Grosjean | Haas | 1:38.425 | 1:39.830 | |
15 | Sony Ericsson | Sauber | 1:38.321 | 1:40.742 | |
16 | Felipe Not Massa Nasr | Sauber | 1:38.654 | 1:42.430 | |
17 | Kevin Magnussen | Renault | 1:38.673 | ||
18 | Esteban! | Haas | 1:38.770 | ||
19 | Jolyon Palmer | Renault | 1:39.528 | ||
20 | Rio Rainbow Gate | Manor | 1:40.264 | ||
NC | Turbo Pascal Wehrlein | Manor | DNF | ||
NC | Lewis Hamilton | Mercedes | DNF |
On first glance, you might think that Lewis Hamilton was affected by the rain, but you'd be wrong. He went out for a trial lap on Intermediates, but came right back in complaining of his engine being down on power. I mean, every driver complains that their engine isn't powerful enough, but this time it was real: a second attempt at a lap later in the session was also a failure as his energy recovery system wasn't working right. Since he didn't set a time, he technically races at the whims of the stewards. No worries there, I'd say.
Manor's Turbo Pascal Wehrlein also races at the allowance of the stewards as he wrecked his car just a couple of minutes into Q1... and this is the only time that the wetness of the circuit may have had an effect.

As you can see, there's two damp strips across the asphalt, separated (and caused) by a bump in the front straight that runs the width of the track. Wehrlein splashed through the first damp patch, hit the bump, then nailed the second damp patch... and ended up having a tankslapper that dumped him into the outside wall. You'll note his DRS is open, as well... the combination of water, bump, and reduced downforce ended his day. A 20 minute red flag while the track workers recovered his car was the result.
Q2 ended early when Force India sent Nico Hulkenberg out for his final hot lap with a tire poorly attached. He gave it the old college try, but making it all the way around the track without losing the thing proved to be too much.

Oh dear.
This, too, brought out a red flag. The clock was stopped with about 90 seconds left in the session... nowhere near enough time to get out from the pits, get around the track, and start a flying lap. Thus were Felipe Not Nasr Massa, Jenson Button and Fernando Alonso, all of whom were on or were about to start a flying lap when the flag came out, relegated to not making it to Q3. Alonso was particularly annoyed by this, making sounds on the radio that were... um... interesting.
The final session saw a surprise finish when Smiley Ricciardo cranked out a lap from out of nowhere. Both Ferraris had a great shot at beating him, but both Vettel and Raikkonen screwed up the final hairpin, meaning they could not better the Aussie. Which left Nico Rosberg up on top of the grid, and his biggest rival at the very far end.
That promises fireworks. See ya Sunday!
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April 14, 2016

There's nothing new under the smog in Shanghai... it's the same as it's been forever. Oh, Turn 13, the so-called "Indianapolis", has been reprofiled... again... which is important, I guess, since it's the only banked corner in F1. Never mind that tracks here in the US with real banked turns laugh at it, you grasp at what you can.

Wow. A banked turn and smog... what more could you ask for? How about rain? They say we're going to be having rain during Quals, which could be fun. Particularly because Quals is going back to the old "knockout" qualifying method! No more of that "90second elimination" format, that's gone... officially, this time. Elimination qualifying was a failure, but looking at it coldly and dispassionately, it really didn't cough up any results that were out of the ordinary: it was just a stupid stupid way to do it.
But that's all water under a duck's butt now. Now we're concerned with the broadcast schedule, as brought to us by the Legendary Announce Team...
Friday
Practice 2: 1a - 230a live on NBCSN
Saturday
Quals: 2a - 330a live on NBCSN
Sunday
2016 Grand Prix of China: 1230a - 3a live on NBCSN
All times are Pond Central. Check your local listings for times in your area. Post no bills. Past performance is not an indication of future results. A bird in the hand is likely to crap on you... and you'd deserve it, you beast. 2X2L calling CQ, is anybody there?
As always, F1Update! will be along after the race, so join us, won't you? Or won't you?
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April 02, 2016
Pos. | Driver | Team | Q1 | Q2 | Q3 |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Lewis Hamilton | Mercedes | 1:31.391 | 1:30.039 | 1:29.493 |
2 | Nico Rosberg | Mercedes | 1:31.325 | 1:30.535 | 1:29.570 |
3 | Sebastian Vettel | Ferrari | 1:31.636 | 1:30.409 | 1:30.012 |
4 | Kimi Räikkönen | Ferrari | 1:31.685 | 1:30.559 | 1:30.244 |
5 | Daniel Ricciardo | Red Bull Racing | 1:31.403 | 1:31.122 | 1:30.854 |
6 | Valtteri Bottas | Williams | 1:31.672 | 1:30.931 | 1:31.153 |
7 | Felipe Not Nasr Massa | Williams | 1:32.045 | 1:31.374 | 1:31.155 |
8 | Nico Hulkenberg | Force India | 1:31.987 | 1:31.604 | 1:31.620 |
9 | Lettuce Grosjean | Haas | 1:32.005 | 1:31.756 | |
10 | Embryo Verstappen | Toro Rosso | 1:31.888 | 1:31.772 | |
11 | Carlos Sainz | Toro Rosso | 1:31.716 | 1:31.816 | |
12 | Stoffel Vandoorne | McLaren | 1:32.472 | 1:31.934 | |
13 | Esteban! | Haas | 1:32.118 | 1:31.945 | |
14 | Jenson Button | McLaren | 1:31.976 | 1:31.998 | |
15 | Kid Kvyat | Red Bull Racing | 1:32.559 | 1:32.241 | |
16 | Blaise Pascal Wehrlein | Manor | 1:32.806 | ||
17 | Sony Ericsson | Sauber | 1:32.840 | ||
18 | Sergio Perez | Force India | 1:32.911 | ||
19 | Kevin Magnussen | Renault | 1:33.181 | ||
20 | Jolyon Palmer | Renault | 1:33.438 | ||
21 | Rio Rollins Tachibana | Manor | 1:34.190 | ||
22 | Felipe Not Massa Nasr | Sauber | 1:34.388 |
Once again we saw huge swaths of time with no or few cars on track. The last five minutes of Q2, for example, saw one car run one lap... and the preceding four minutes was essentially a car on a FIA scale for a mandatory weigh-in. That was all that was going on. The last few minutes of Q3 was totally dead. Any excitement was moved back, when Hamilton jumped himself from fourth to pole... but that happened in the middle of the session, instead of right at the end of a drama-filled Q3. It's ridiculous.
Lewis Hamilton is on pole, and his lap is nearly a half-second faster than the race lap record set in 2004... and that was set in the V10 era, with practically unlimited aero downforce gizmos and stickier tires.
Haas continues their amazing start to the season, with Lettuce Grosjean ending up in ninth... widely considered the best spot to be if you can't be in the first couple of rows. In ninth, you get tire choice for the race; eighth and above, you have to use the same tire compound as you had in Q2.
The rest of Quals went more or less to script. Renault is having difficulties figuring out the correct way to "stage" their cars for the 90second elimination thing, but otherwise? Perez got hit by that, too.. .
The Toro Rosso twins are going to pissed at each other all season, aren't they? That'll be fun!
Race in the mid-morning... see ya then!
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March 30, 2016

No change, as I said. Even politically there's been no change, as Bahrain is one of the places where the 'Arab Spring' movement was crushed, with military help from Saudi Arabia and the UAE. Nowadays, the Bahrani government is still in ham-fisted mode, apparently arresting four US journalists for trying to cover the fifth anniversary marches last month. And so it goes.
Other than that, the circuit itself is grippy (thanks to asphalt imported from Wales), fast, and pretty much flat. Wind can be an issue, as can sand since its in the middle of a desert. Rain is not something you'd expect, though it did rain on Monday; one of the teams' twitter feeds had pictures of their equipment sitting in a soaked pit lane.
Before I get into the "this is why I didn't say anything about it" bit, here's the broadcast times for the race weekend, featuring the Legendary Announce Team! All times Pond Central, of course.
Friday
10am - 1130am: Practice 2 live on NBCSN
Saturday
10am - 1130am: Quals live on CNBC
Sunday
930am - 1230pm: 2016 Grand Prix of Bahrain live on NBCSN
As always, check your local guides for times... I have conflicting information on when the actual race is on-air.
Now then... remember that debacle of a qualifying format from Australia? And people were saying that F1 would be reverting back to the "old" way of quals? Yeah, about that... it was wrong. We've got the same elimination format again for Bahrain and (possibly) beyond... and since the alternative was a "reverse grid" lineup, where the top eight qualifying cars would be moved deep into the grid, we should probably be happy about it.
One thing I've learned over the years of covering F1 in whatever way you call this thing is that if it isn't being said by the FIA, it isn't real yet. And while the best thing to do with this qualifying format is to take it back behind the barn and shoot it, we're stuck with it for at least one race more. At least it'll be at a decent time. See ya soon!

UPDATE: Fernando Alonso is not being allowed to drive in this race. He failed medical tests today, stemming from a fractured rib suffered in his accident at Australia. He'll be retested before the next Grand Prix, in China. Until he passes, McLaren has tabbed Stoffel Vandoorne, the team's reserve driver (and reigning GP2 champion), to take his seat.
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March 19, 2016
That's the only way to describe the new qualifying format, unless you want to use words like debacle, awful, failure, or what were they thinking?. Before we get into why Quals was an unmitigated catastrophe, let's take a look at the provisional grid for the 2016 Grand Prix of Australia:
Pos. | Driver | Team | Time |
---|---|---|---|
1 | Lewis Hamilton | Mercedes | 1:23.837 |
2 | Nico Rosberg | Mercedes | 1:24.197 |
3 | Sebastian Vettel | Ferrari | 1:24.675 |
4 | Kimi Räikkönen | Ferrari | 1:25.033 |
5 | Embryo Verstappen | Toro Rosso | 1:25.434 |
6 | Felipe Not Nasr Massa | Williams | 1:25.458 |
7 | Carlos Sainz | Toro Rosso | 1:25.582 |
8 | Daniel Ricciardo | Red Bull Racing | 1:25.589 |
9 | Sergio Perez | Force India | 1:25.753 |
10 | Nico Hulkenberg | Force India | 1:25.865 |
11 | Valtteri Bottas | Williams | 1:25.961 |
12 | Fernando Alonso | McLaren | 1:26.125 |
13 | Jenson Button | McLaren | 1:26.304 |
14 | Jolyon Palmer | Renault | 1:27.601 |
15 | Kevin Magnussen | Renault | 1:27.742 |
16 | Sony Ericsson | Sauber | 1:27.435 |
17 | Felipe Not Massa Nasr | Sauber | 1:27.958 |
18 | Kid Kvyat | Red Bull Racing | 1:28.006 |
19 | Lettuce Grosjean | Haas | 1:28.322 |
20 | Esteban! | Haas | 1:29.606 |
21 | Rio Rollins Tachibana | Manor | 1:29.627 |
22 | Turbo Pascal Wehrlein | Manor | 1:29.642 |
Pretty standard results, more or less. That Toro Rosso got both of their cars ahead of Red Bull is an interesting twist, but part of that performance has to be credited to Embryo Verstappen, who might be turning into a very skilled driver indeed. The McLarens showed signs that last year's nightmare is over by actually looking like they deserved to be on the track.
But let's get to the efalump in the room: the new quals elimination format. It was supposed to make things more exciting, but the exact opposite occurred. You saw a great rush at the beginning of each session as everybody went out to set a lap time before the elimination timer began ticking down... and then the Mercs and Ferraris, secure in their speeds, disappeared. It appeared that the teams had some confusion about how the new format worked, too... when the 90-second timer reached zero, whatever car was slowest was eliminated, even if they were on a flying lap. Previously, when clocks ran out (such as at the end of the session), flying laps counted. This means that timing is everything now... for example, a lap of Australia takes around 1:26 or so. Basically if you're not on your lap or about to start one when that 90 second timer begins, you're out of luck. That's what doomed Kid Kvyat, who was in the pit lane when the timer started on him. The two Haas cars were also badly hurt by this: Esteban! was on a serious flyer when his time ran out; his time would have bumped him up to eighth on the timesheet, plenty good enough to advance. Lettuce Grosjean was going even faster for the first two track sectors when the clock struck ":00" on him, much quicker that his teammate. He decided not to finish the lap at that point.
However, if you're the last one to be under the clock in a session, your final hot lap counts even if time runs out, just like before. Renault's Jolyon Palmer snuck his way into Q2 that way, relegating the Sauber of Sony Ericsson in the process (and causing confusion and annoyance up and down Pond Central). Q2 went down much the same way.

All of that was just prelude to the ridiculousness that was Q3. Basically, the eight cars that advanced to Q3 went out for one lap each, returned to the pits, and for all intents and purposes the session was over; the clock just hadn't run out yet. Oh, Nico Rosberg moved himself from fourth to second later, but there was nothing going on for the last five or six minutes. Hamilton busied himself sitting atop of the medical car, fans busied themselves thinking "WTF is going on?" and critics everywhere broke keyboards as they rushed to post scathing diatribes about the new format.
And they've got the right of it. Drivers, team principals, even Bernie Ecclestone have all come out calling the format "rubbish" and saying that F1 needs to go back to the knockout format again. At least then you usually had the drama of people being on track at the end of Q3.
Race late tonight... I'm unsure if I'll be able to stay awake for it, however: I coudn't manage the trick for Quals. We'll see what happens, F1U! tomorrow.

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March 14, 2016

To me, the track in Melbourne is almost like a security blanket. It's always been there, it's never changed, and it's just a swell place to have a race. Fast, but not fast fast. Twisty turns, but not ridiculously so. Tough, but fair. A great way to start the season, both for the fans and for the teams. The only bad thing about it is that it takes place at Inconvenient O'Clock, Pond Central Time, but at least Quals and the race bookend Saturday! Here's the broadcast schedule, brought to you by the Legendary Announce Team, NBCSN, and F1Update!: ask for it by name!
Wednesday
1030p - 1130p: Haas F1 - America's Return To The Grid, NBCSN
Thursday
830p - 10p: Practice 1, live on NBCSN
Friday
1230a - 2a: Practice 2, live on NBCSN
Saturday
1a - 230a: Quals, live on NBCSN
11p - 2a: 2016 Grand Prix of Australia, live on NBCSN
Which brings us to the first bullet point of the season. There's a new team on the grid, and it's American.

Now Haas F1 is American the same way McLaren is British, or Renault is French... that is to say, "nominally." Every team on the grid is made up of people from around the world. Team Principal Guenther Steiner is Italian (name sure sounds German, though), the drivers are French and Mexican, and they've got bases of operations in England and North Carolina. But it's got the American flag on it, Gene Haas (the founder) is American, and that's all that matters. I'll be paying special attention to HaasF1 all season, and we'll be having a good ol' time with the good ol' boys from Kannapolis. They've already been impressive in pre-season testing; despite losing a front wing on the first day, and an entire day in second testing due to engine problems, they still turned more laps than McLaren and showed good pace the whole way. Promising, if nothing you can really hang your helmet on. Moving on...

There's been a couple of changes to the tire rules for the 2016 season. The first, and easiest to explain, is the addition of the Ultra-Soft tire compound to the old standbys of Hard, Medium, Soft and Super-Soft. Back when Pirelli was last providing tires to F1, qualifying was single-car-single-lap, go as fast as possible and damn the torpedoes. To get the maximum amount of speed, teams had qualifying engines, tuned to (reportedly) give as much as 1500hp at some circuits... at the price of being useless after only a few laps. Think of them as F1's version of a Top Fuel dragster's motor: one run, then a complete rebuild. However, those engines would be useless if you couldn't apply the power to the circuit, and thus was born the Qualifying Tire. If the qualifying engine had a short life, the Quals Tire had one equally as short, if not worse. Imagine marshmallows covered with velcro and slathered with superglue... lots and lots of grip, but no lifespan to speak of: one race lap was about it. The new Ultra-Soft tires aren't quite that bad, but only maybe by a few laps before they're scattered to the four winds.
The difficult rule change is how tires are allocated during the weekend. Before, Pirelli would bring two compounds to the track, and all teams had to use at least one of each during the race. The rules now state that Pirelli will announce three compounds for each race, and the teams get to choose how many of each compound they want (up to a maximum of 13 sets). The only catch is that the softest compound must be used during Q3 of Qualifying, and the drivers must have at least one set of the others for the race. If I'm reading the rules correctly, the drivers don't actually have to use both, just have them available. Oh, and they have to give back the softest tires before raceday. I think. For Australia, the compounds are Medium, Soft, and Super-Soft. If I've got these rules incorrect, please someone correct me, because they really are a bit vague.

Finally, there's a new Qualifying format. On the surface, it's quite similar... three Quals periods, knockout elimination, you know the drill. Except now, Q1 is 16 minutes long, and instead of removing the slowest five all at once, after seven minutes the slowest car will be eliminated, followed every 90 seconds by the slowest car remaining until the session is over. Thus, seven will be knocked out, and 15 go on to Q2. Q2 is 15 minutes long, and after six minutes the slowest car is removed, then every 90 seconds thereafter. That will leave eight cars for the final session. Q3 will be 14 minutes in duration, and after five minutes the slowest is knocked out. Again, another car will follow every 90 seconds until there are just two remaining. Those two will then go until time's up. Simple, right? I think the FIA is a little over their skis on this one... it might really be cool, but I have this feeling it's needlessly complex and will be hard to keep track of for the fans.
Well, we'll find out this weekend! Keep an eye out for the first F1Update! of the season on Sunday!
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November 29, 2015

THAT right there. That's why.

That's Audi's entry into the 2016 World Endurance Championship's LMP1 class (or whatever the top prototype class is called these days). My word, that's quite the looker. I mean, I love F1 cars, but c'mon, they haven't looked this good in years. And that livery! That's poster material right there.
I kinda geeked when I first saw the pictures.
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November 28, 2015
Pos. | Driver | Team | Q1 | Q2 | Q3 |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Nico Rosberg | Mercedes | 1:41.111 | 1:40.979 | 1:40.237 |
2 | Lewis Hamilton | Mercedes | 1:40.974 | 1:40.758 | 1:40.614 |
3 | Kimi Räikkönen | Ferrari | 1:42.500 | 1:41.612 | 1:41.051 |
4 | Sergio Perez | Force India | 1:41.983 | 1:41.560 | 1:41.184 |
5 | Daniel Ricciardo | Red Bull Racing | 1:42.275 | 1:41.830 | 1:41.444 |
6 | Valtteri Bottas | Williams | 1:42.608 | 1:41.868 | 1:41.656 |
7 | Nico Hulkenberg | Force India | 1:41.996 | 1:41.925 | 1:41.686 |
8 | Felipe Not Nasr Massa | Williams | 1:42.303 | 1:42.349 | 1:41.759 |
9 | Kid Kvyat | Red Bull Racing | 1:42.540 | 1:42.328 | 1:41.933 |
10 | Carlos Sainz | Toro Rosso | 1:42.911 | 1:42.482 | 1:42.708 |
11 | Embryo Verstappen | Toro Rosso | 1:42.889 | 1:42.521 | |
12 | Jenson Button | McLaren | 1:42.570 | 1:42.668 | |
13 | Pastor Maldonado | Lotus | 1:42.929 | 1:42.807 | |
14 | Felipe Not Massa Nasr | Sauber | 1:42.896 | 1:43.614 | |
15 | Lettuce Grosjean | Lotus | 1:42.585 | No Time |
|
16 | Sebastian Vettel | Ferrari | 1:42.941 | ||
17 | Fernando Alonso | McLaren | 1:43.187 | ||
18 | Sony Ericsson | Sauber | 1:43.838 | ||
19 | Will Stevens | Marussia | 1:46.297 | ||
20 | Roberto Merhi | Marussia | 1:47.434 |
Yup, it's another Mercedes 1-2, with Rosberg taking his sixth pole in a row. The big news, though, is that Ferrari's Seb Vettel never made it out of Q1. The team told him that he had gone fast enough to make it to Q2, so he backed out of his final flying lap to preserve tires... and then Jenson Button's McLaren bumped him. Oy.
Up at the front, Lewis Hamilton actually was quickest in Q1 and Q2; Rosberg just killed it in Q3, though, and that's the only one that really matters. There's actually a chance that the nearly .40 sec gap will increase, as Hamilton may have his fastest lap thrown out for violating track limits. He'd still be in 2nd, though.
Other than all that, however, it was pretty much bog-standard. Which is what I expect Sunday's race to be as well. But who knows? Maybe it'll rain.
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November 23, 2015

We've been here plenty of times before, and pretty much what we've learned is that this is a awful track to race on. Fun to drive, yes, but to contest position? There's one good place to pass, Turn 8/9, with Turns 5-7 being somewhat less swell. Remember, this is the circuit where they thought it would be a good idea to have the pit exit run underneath the track. I suspect it's merely luck that we haven't seen that idea backfire horribly.
So what's the point of this race? Well, Valterri Bottas and Kimi Raikkonen in a fight for fourth place in the driver's championship, one point separating them. Lotus leads Toro Rosso by nine points for sixth in the constructor's championship. And... um... that's about it, really. Most teams will probably be using Abu Dhabi as an extended test session... remember, the 2016 season is only four months away!
Oy.
The Legendary Announce Team has the coverage, as usual. Here's the schedule:
Friday
Practice 2: 7a - 830a live on NBCSN
Saturday
Quals: 7a - 830a live on CNBC
Sunday
2015 Grand Prix of Abu Dhabi: 6a - 9a live on NBCSN
We'll be along afterwards, of course, with the usual F1Update!. Join us, won't you?
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November 14, 2015
Pos. | Driver | Team | Q1 | Q2 | Q3 |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Nico Rosberg | Mercedes | 1:11.746 | 1:12.213 | 1:11.282 |
2 | Lewis Hamilton | Mercedes | 1:11.682 | 1:11.665 | 1:11.360 |
3 | Sebastian Vettel | Ferrari | 1:12.240 | 1:11.928 | 1:11.804 |
4 | Valtteri Bottas | Williams | 1:12.934 | 1:12.374 | 1:12.085 |
5 | Kimi Räikkönen | Ferrari | 1:12.185 | 1:12.243 | 1:12.144 |
6 | Nico Hulkenberg | Force India | 1:12.595 | 1:12.485 | 1:12.265 |
7 | Kid Kvyat | Red Bull Racing | 1:12.730 | 1:12.527 | 1:12.322 |
8 | Felipe Not Nasr Massa | Williams | 1:12.980 | 1:12.858 | 1:12.415 |
9 | Daniel Ricciardo | Red Bull Racing | 1:12.639 | 1:12.825 | 1:12.417 |
10 | Embryo Verstappen | Toro Rosso | 1:12.824 | 1:12.712 | 1:12.739 |
11 | Felipe Not Massa Nasr | Sauber | 1:13.111 | 1:12.989 | |
12 | Carlos Sainz | Toro Rosso | 1:13.267 | 1:13.045 | |
13 | Sergio Perez | Force India | 1:13.140 | 1:13.147 | |
14 | Sony Ericsson | Sauber | 1:13.346 | 1:13.233 | |
15 | Lettuce Grosjean | Lotus | 1:13.056 | 1:13.913 | |
16 | Pastor Maldonado | Lotus | 1:13.385 | ||
17 | Jenson Button | McLaren | 1:13.425 | ||
18 | American Rossi | Marussia | 1:16.151 | ||
19 | Will Stevens | Marussia | 1:16.283 | ||
NC | Fernando Alonso | McLaren | No Time |
Not much to say about this, really. Rosberg has taken his fifth consecutive pole, Alonso's McLaren died on track with yet another bum engine.
And the president of the FIA, Jean Todt, didn't so much step on a landmine as jump up and down on a landmine when he said to French TV station Canal+ "do you realise that the number of people killed in road accidents is by far bigger than the number of people who died in Paris yesterday?" I understand he took the opportunity to promote the FIA's road safety program, but that was not the time.
Jean Todt is French, by the way, and the FIA's headquarters are in Paris. Just saying.
Race in the morning.
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November 10, 2015

Really, I'm just about the only F1 fan out there who doesn't like Interlagos. The drivers adore the place (except for the occasional attempt at armed robbery), the Brazilian fans (that's a lot of fans!) are both well-versed in the sport and insane, and it's uncommon to have a poor race. Even the part that I used to hate the very most, that it was the last race of the season, has changed, with that title now in the oil-stained hands of Abu Dhabi. So why, exactly, do I still hate Interlagos?
Because I'm a stubborn mule of a lifeform that refuses to allow such things as logic to get in the way of my peccadilloes when it comes to F1. Enough of this place, I hope the two manmade lakes that give the place its name overflow their banks and flood the whole kit 'n' kaboodle. Safely, of course.
Despite my loathing of the place, the Legendary Announce Team (which does not, in fact, respond to my every whim, unlikely as that seems) will be doing their usual outstanding job at coverage. Here's the schedule for the broadcast weekend:
Friday
Practice 2: 10a - 1130a live on NBCSN
Saturday
Quals: 10a - 1130a live on CNBC
Sunday
2015 Grand Prix of Brazil: 930a - 12n on NBCSN
This actually surprises me somewhat; even though they've done four races on NBC already, for whatever reason I thought Brazil would be on the Mother Network. Wow, look at me, I'm wrong, perhaps for the first time this post. Anyway, that's it. I've given enough of my attention to this... place... for one day. Of course, I'll force myself to cover Quals and the race this weekend, so I don't get to escape completely! See ya then!!!
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November 01, 2015
It's almost midnight. I only just now woke up. I'm an idiot.
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October 31, 2015
With that daunting prospect in mind, let's take a look at the provisional grid for the 2015 Grand Prix of Mexico:
Pos. | Driver | Team | Q1 | Q2 | Q3 |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Nico Rosberg | Mercedes | 1:20.436 | 1:20.053 | 1:19.480 |
2 | Lewis Hamilton | Mercedes | 1:20.808 | 1:19.829 | 1:19.668 |
3 | Sebastian Vettel | Ferrari | 1:20.503 | 1:20.045 | 1:19.850 |
4 | Kid Kvyat | Red Bull Racing | 1:20.826 | 1:20.490 | 1:20.398 |
5 | Daniel Ricciardo | Red Bull Racing | 1:21.166 | 1:20.783 | 1:20.399 |
6 | Valtteri Bottas | Williams | 1:20.817 | 1:20.458 | 1:20.448 |
7 | Felipe Not Nasr Massa | Williams | 1:21.379 | 1:20.642 | 1:20.567 |
8 | Embryo Verstappen | Toro Rosso | 1:20.995 | 1:20.894 | 1:20.710 |
9 | Casachico Perez | Force India | 1:20.966 | 1:20.669 | 1:20.716 |
10 | Nico Hulkenberg | Force India | 1:21.315 | 1:20.935 | 1:20.788 |
11 | Carlos Sainz | Toro Rosso | 1:20.960 | 1:20.942 | |
12 | Lettuce Grosjean | Lotus | 1:21.577 | 1:21.038 | |
13 | Pastor Maldonado | Lotus | 1:21.520 | 1:21.261 | |
14 | Sony Ericsson | Sauber | 1:21.299 | 1:21.544 | |
15 | Kimi Räikkönen | Ferrari | 1:21.422 | 1:22.494 | |
16 | HWIOAKAFernando Alonso | McLaren | 1:21.779 | ||
17 | Felipe Not Massa Nasr | Sauber | 1:21.788 | ||
18 | American Rossi | Marussia | 1:24.136 | ||
19 | Will Stevens | Marussia | 1:24.386 |
Nothing too out of the ordinary, save for Raikkonen being 15th; on top of his engine fire earlier, in Q2 he had brake problems. This is the fourth pole in a row for Rosberg, fat lot of good it's done him. It was quite the fight between the two Merc drivers... Hamilton would throw down a time, Rosberg would better it, Hamilton would improve it, then Rosberg would go even faster. Pretty fun stuff. Throw in the upcoming rain, and Sunday's race is looking pretty darn great.
In other news from the weekend, American team HaasF1 named their second driver on Friday. Partnering Lettuce Grosjean will be current Ferrari test driver (and former Sauber race driver racer) Esteban! Not a bad choice, though hardly an inspired one, and probably "forced" upon them as part of the team's engine/technical deal with the team from Maranello. Fair trade, I think.
Also, if you're a fan of Force India, enjoy these last three races as much as you can because in 2016 they're going to have a different name. Vijay Mallya has reached a partnership that will see the team rebranded as Aston Martin, the legendary British car maker. It's a pity... while I haven't rooted for a team since Minardi and SuperAguri left the grid, Force India came the closest. And while I'd kill to see a F1 car in this livery:

...it's not going to happen. A pity, as the Gulf Orange and Powder Blue scheme is, to me at least, the "Warbonnet" of auto racing. On the other hand, having a title sponsor like Aston Martin might provide them the funding to take that step from midpack to racewinner. Only time will tell, but it won't happen as Force India, mores the pity.
Remember, the race is on NBC at a decent time for the US... here's your chance to see a "debut" track in front of a flat-out ridiculously enthusiastic Mexican crowd. The noise when they see Mexico City's very own Sergio Perez needs to be heard to be believed. F1U! will be along sometime afterwards... see ya then!
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October 27, 2015

A laps of the 2.76 mile-long circuit is expected to take around 75 seconds. Alas, said lap won't be ending in the classic Peraltada corner, a massively fast 180° arc that used to run from Turn 12 to what is now Turn 16... Turn 17 is roughly half of it, though the banking is gone. Instead, the layout now runs through a baseball stadium... on the aerial maps I've seen, it looks like Turn 12 enters the stadium somewhere near the right-field corner, and Turn 16 exits it somewhere up the third base line, but short of third base itself, through a gap in the stands. It's hard to tell, as there is no outfield wall, and clearly the infield can be picked up.
That front straight is no slouch, by the way... indeed, at 1.2km, it becomes one of the longest on the F1 calendar. That should make for some interesting pileups on the first lap. We don't really know anything about how it'll race, per se, since F1 hasn't been there in 20 years or so. Should be fast though, and my guess is about USGP level of tire wear. That could be really wrong, however, so don't hold it against me if it turns out differently. Definitely give me credit if I'm right, because I'm just that sort of duck.
The Tres Amigos plus Will Buxton will be providing their usual commentary, but NOT at the usual time and days. Let's take a look:
Saturday
Quals: 1p - 230p live on CNBC
Sunday
Grand Prix of Mexico: 1230p - 330p live on NBC
Yup, there's no mistype there: we're not getting coverage of Friday Practice except online. For that matter, the coverage won't be on NBCSN, either! How passing strange is this?
Well, we'll watch what's being shown... and we'll see you afterwards, yes? Yes?
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October 25, 2015
Q1: Teams are under orders to use Full Wet tires and nothing else. Which is good, because it's crap out there. It's still raining, it's dark, it's wet, the spray is awful, and traction is less than optimal. And oh boy! The folks on the pit wall are saying the first half of the session will be the GOOD weather. It'll start getting worse after that... and we've got a Red Flag.

Carlos Sainz Jr lost it on the curbs at the start of the Esses (back where that other car is) and slid all the way into the TecPro barriers at the next turn... and it looked like he never slowed down in the process. The session has restarted, but it's probably not going to matter... the rain is coming.
Okay, Q1 is over, and the rain never got worse. Times actually improved, but that's all relative; it's hard to improve from 2:20.500, y'know? That being said, wow, that was fun to watch. The drivers had to have their hearts in their mouths, and the cars were slipping and sliding all over the place, but they were pushing hard because nobody knows if there'll be a Q2. If there isn't, Daniel Ricciardo will be on pole, ahead of Hamilton, Rosberg and Kvyat: Red Bull Merc Merc Red Bull.
Q2: Nope, we've got a Q2! It's just started, it's still not looking great out there, and we're waiting for the next disaster. Vettel kissed the wall late in Q1, but didn't appear to damage anything as he's on track right now.

Turn 10 is going to kill someone. It's off-camber downhill, and everybody is winding up sideways... yeesh. American Alexander Rossi just came up with the understatement of the weekend: "It was a little sketchy out there."
Kimi Raikkonen and Lewis Hamilton have both fallen victim to Turn 10 as well. Raikkonen just called back to the pit wall "mrmrmmrmrr rm rmrmrmr rmrmrbrrlrl." He didn't sound happy.
Kvyat just called in: "It's really dangerous out here." I'm starting to think this is a bad idea. So does Seb Vettel: "These are Red Flag conditions."
Q2 just ended... let's see if there's a Q3. If not, Rosberg, Hamilton, Riccardio and Kvyat are your first four.
Heh from the Williams Twitter account: "By a show of hands, who hasn't had a moment at T10?"
Between sessions, Berndt Maylander is out on track in the Safety Car, checking conditions.
Q3: Q3 is being postponed for 10 minutes. Here's the current standings:

There was just a broadcast from Jenson Button earlier, saying in effect that it's dangerous and bad out there.
Q3 has been called. There will be NO Q3. Rosberg takes pole. Vettel and Raikkonen are dropped 10 places due to engine changes, so the first six are Rosberg, Hamilton, Ricciardo, Kvyat, Perez and Hulkenberg! Two FIs on the third row, hooray!
The race is this afternoon, see ya then!
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